Of all the roles I play, the ‘tooth fairy’ is the most challenging. I really want to meet the guy who created this myth. I want a tooth for a tooth. 
About four years back when Nikki lost her first tooth, my friend Bina insisted I start the tooth fairy ritual. I thought that was a sweet thing to do. Till the 3rd tooth fell. Then, I wanted to knock off all of Bina’s teeth!
We had shifted to a new neighbourhood which, at that time, boasted of very few shops, namely, Shree Manjunath Bar and Restaurant, and Rajkamal Hardware and Electricals. Alok and I, weary after a long day at work, worked our way down our road, looking for a suitable gift to place under her pillow.
The options that we had, we realized, were masala toddy, waterproof laminate, large tin of fevicol and premium commodes. Somehow, even to our tired minds, these did not seem right.
I mean, can you picture tooth fairy, in her pretty white lace and gauze train (how come she never trips on it and lose some of her teeth, I wonder), enter our house, and tip-toe to Nikki’s bed, carrying a large roll of laminate tucked under her arm, balancing a commode on her head?
After some more searching, we found a set of bangles. They were large enough to fit around Nikki’s waist. But, those minor details did not register on our tired minds. We bought a bunch and reached home.
Bina was not happy. She said we should have bought a gold coin. At this point, let me share that its very good that Bina stays very very far from our house, almost near Sri Lanka. So, she was safe.
It was now time to wait for Nikki to sleep. Really sound.
So, we waited and waited. Till we fell asleep. I had strange dreams in which I lost races against several tooth fairies who, then, made fun of me showing their middle tooth as a vulgar gesture.
It must have been around 2:00 am when I woke up in cold sweat, wondering if it was already morning. Alok was fast asleep. We have divided our roles quite fairly, you see. He is Santa Claus as part of which, he needs to consume milk and, by mid-night, ant-infested cookies the kids left on the table and put gifts under the tree. Since I am lactose-intolerant, and vegetarian, I chose to be tooth fairy.
After a harrowing few months with Nikki, she grew up and found out there was no tooth fairy. Girls mature fast, you see. So, I could now sleep in peace while Santa continued to gag on milk and cookies. In fact, I added some more cruel myths to it now:
‘If you leave Santa pasta in white sauce, he will be even happier and leave better gifts!’
Needless to clarify, Alok hates it.
My joy was short-lived. Last month, Prithvi lost his first tooth. I was at my sister’s house, and there was no way we could go out looking for a suitable gift at that hour. With every passing hour, as we cleared the dinner table, we looked more and more anxious, as Prithvi roamed around with his prized tooth neatly wrapped in a tissue.
I decided not to fret too much.
When it was a safe hour, I tip-toed to his room, stubbing my toe against the bathroom door and slipped a 500 rupee note under his pillow. Then, I slept peacefully, dreaming of beating tooth-fairies in my dreams, in a game of kho-kho.
My sister, unknown to me, was sleepless in the adjoining room, since we had not clarified who’d be tooth fairy! It was now time for her to sneak in and place a bag with coins under his pillow. It was happy morning when Prithvi discovered the monies.
But, we, not happy with our night’s efforts, kept pulling odd things from the house, like a pair of goggles, or a toy car (apparently left back by other people’s kids) and exclaiming,
‘See, tooth fairy also left this!’
Prithvi must be wondering whether the tooth-fairy is a toddy-soaked disoriented creature who leaves things all over the house.
So, I had two weeks of peace, till Prithvi lost another tooth yesterday. I suspect he removed it, forcefully, with a pair of pliers, knowing how greedy he is for gifts!
Again, it was 9:30 pm and I was staying over at Ravinder’s house. Alok and I were back on the streets looking like hoodlums in our pyjamas and shawls, looking for gifts. The only shops we found were Sai Homeopathy and Manjula Fancy Shop and Shyam Rice Traders. In our gift-deprived state, bags of rice looked like teddy bears. It looked like a losing battle, till we found a sleepy guy winding up a shop that had some toy-looking stuff. We rushed towards it like soldiers in an ambush.
Hoping that Prithvi will grow up and get over the myth anytime soon is not going to happen, going by his gender.
So, I guess, the tooth fairy is sitting pretty, having the last toothy laugh.
