Number 5 : Man Ka Radio Bajne De Zara

Well, this stars Himesh Reshamiyya. Maybe that will suffice as the reason. But, let me give you more. HR assumes a melancholy brooding stance amidst a bevy of blondes as he breaks into these inane lyrics. They are set to a tune that is, basically, two lines of notes, put in a loop. The blondes have an IQ of 160. That is, all twelve of them put together. They gloss over the fact that HR is sad and continue to dance in snaky moves around him. He, then decided to ditch them (I mean, what is HIS iq?) and proceeds to a recording studio to continue to brood, spewing unbelievably bad lyrics in a nursery-rhyme patterned tune that goes back and forth on the same notes.

Number 4 : Su Chhe (What’s Your Rashee)

This song has Harman Baveja in it. For those who don’t know him, think Hemant Birje. For those who don’t him either, feel blessed. And for those who are wondering how Harman is connected to Hemant (of Kimi-Katkar-fame), while Hemant was the poor man’s Mithun Chakraborty, Harman is the poor man’s* Hrithik Roshan.

In addition, this song has an annoyingly perky Piggy Chops in a garish lehenga dancing amidst marble statues, perhaps placed, cleverly, to prove to us that Harman is alive and emoting.

Number 3: Ek Baar Kaho mujhse pyaar karte ho (Ek Baar Kaho)

Raj Kiran (playback – Bhappi da) keeps crooning this question and the babe replies, ‘main tumhe kya kahoon’. So, this goes on and on with a lone guitar strumming in the background.
He repeats the question, giving her the benefit of doubt. But, she still does not get it, and continues to give the same reply.

If it were a police interrogation, she would have, by now, been given the 3rd degree.

(PS : The tabloids report that sometime after this, Raj Kiran relocated to the US and checked himself into a mental rehab.)

Number 2 : Aap Ke Kamre Mein Koi Rehta Hai (Yaadon Ki Baraat)

Vijay Arora in a polka-dotted shirt wooing Zeenie baby who looks hot in a red dress and red boots. Someone sure had a sense of humour! Tariq, in a studded band-master dress sings this song, wearing awful aviator glasses. He manages to lure Zeenie on stage where she expresses coyness before she sings along with him. The coyness sounds fake because :

1. C’mon, she is Zeenie baby!
2. Asha Bhonsle has dubbed the coy dialogues, hence, you automatically get Asha ji’s image, nice Maharashtrian saree, in your head.

Tariq strums the guitar hitting it at strange angles in expansive moves, but never quite reaching the strings. I guess no one told him that that is where the music comes from.

Number 1 : Everybody Dance with Pa pa pa, Everybody dance with mama(Dance Dance)

Just as you recover from seeing a ridiculously dressed Smita Patil in a pink poncho and a bird-nest hair-do, Mithun and Shakti Kapoor jump in with their moves. They are supported by a bevy of dancers of indeterminate gender, who are wearing red business suits.

The audience comprises assorted old people dressed at Parsis, who are addressed as ‘papa’ and ‘mama’ by Mithun and Shakti as they cajole them to join the dance.

In the meantime, the song has meandered to new notes, that sound like ‘Part-time lover’, note to note, not even one changed as a token towards any stake to originality.

*Definition of poor man: Mani Ratnam after re-making Ravaan, this time with Uday Chopra in the lead.

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