(This blogpost is for my friends at Dell)

I am hanging my boots. Of course, I am speaking figuratively here since I don’t really wear boots. I wear slippers purchased from Commercial Street bargains (3 pairs for Rs 225/-) recommended by Sudha. The last time I wore boots was during the LDP launch. Nicely teamed with a chiffon saree. Needless to say, Vrinda needed 1 week’s leave to recover from the shock.

So, when I say I am hanging my boots, I mean that I am quitting my job. It’s been a job I really love, and owe a lot to, and it’s been a difficult decision. . .

My role was always exciting and brought to me excellent opportunities to learn.

But recently, when Parimala re-defined my role to ‘Sit next to the shredder and tell the electrician –

‘This is the shredder’ when he comes,

I had a faint suspicion that the job would not be as exciting as it has been so far. I also suspect foul play since, though I sat near the shredder all day, the electrician did not show up. Even Rajaram, the person who uses the shredder the most, and has accumulated 20,000 loyalty points on it, did not show up to use it. So, do you smell a rat here? Maybe, I will have to take Nibir’s services here. But, from what I heard last, the rat that bit him died of Nibtosirosis.

Now that you have figured out that most of what I write is not true :-), let me say something which is true : I will miss this place.

There are lots of things I will miss. The list is endless, but, maybe, I can share a partial list here.

Partial List of Things I will miss from Dec 1st

1. The Floor – It’s not ‘floor’ floor. I did have a table and a chair to sit on. I mean the place we all would hang out at, while pretending to work.

2. The Man on The Conf Call Recording – If you know what I mean, repeat after me, ‘Welcome to the Conference Calling Center. At any time during this message. please enter your participant passcode followed by the pound sign’. Or, if we were not so lucky, ‘The passcode you are attempting to enter . . . . is invalid….’

3. The Trainer’s Good Morning – This was a gory ritual we conducted in classrooms where we exhorted participants to improve the quality of the ‘Good mornings’ using statements like, ‘I could hardly hear that. Can we say it one time more….louder?’ And, we would then laugh loudly and mirthlessly to make them squirm. I salute the patience of all the participants who have not retaliated so far! Though I often feared one of them would, one night, lurk in the car park and bludgeon me with a rod, yelling ‘Good morning’ over and over again.

4. The Security check – Everyday, the security guard would wish my driver a bright and respectful ‘Good-morning, sir’ and then peer suspiciously at me in the backseat. No change of hair-styles, clothes, or perfumes helped. In his eyes, I continued to be the ‘suspicious’ character who came in to the office in the same car as ‘Some Important Senior Manager’.

5. Sathya’s Causing- cracks-in the-cubicles-laughter – We lived in serious complex till we got our own Kayo to give a fitting response, matching it decibel to decibel.

6. Chetak’s response to my new hairstyle – He sang a jingle, ‘Shock laga laga, shock laga..’

Amith and Naveen laughed to this rendition.

When this matter was taken Rohit for adjudication, he patted Chetak’s back and laughed.

Next I hear, Chetak gets a promotion.

7. HRGCP exam paper – I set a paper that even I could not answer even though I had the course material with me. I savoured every moment of sadistic pleasure as participants sweated and struggled. Vinit Puri, though he passed with flying colors, cracked up under the stress and relocated to a site farthest from Bangalore.

8. Ravish’s Greek God looks, sense of humour, sensitivity, interest in sports and arts, and chivalry.

9. Meetings with Ajay – In these meetings, Ajay grasped what the information, made sense of it, pointed out the gaps and gave some value-addition. All this, even before the meeting began. I demand for a full and fair investigation on Ajay. My hunch is he is from Planet Krypton where normal IQ ranges start at 200 points. An IQ in the range of 110-120 points, which is above average on Planet Earth, falls in the range called ‘Severe Retardation’ in that planet. If you think I am being ridiculous here, I ask you this: Why did Ajay not get a blood-test done during the ‘Well at Dell’ campaign? Was he worried that the alien blood group would get revealed?

10. Sawdust-Ho Food

11. Dell Fashion Show – We wore gunny bags and sashayed down the ramp. Preethi, we should have guessed that that guy who showed up in that glitzy black t-shirt with ‘Bad Boy’ written on it in huge silver lettering, was not a fashion designer. In retrospect, I think he was one of the security guards who was bribed by another team to pose as a Fashion Designer for HR.

• Anyways, by the time we realized that the gunny bags were not exactly haute couture, it was too late. So, we had a Plan B. Which went like this:
• We sat in the row behind the judges.
• We pretended to be Call Center Associates (rather over-aged) from CTS
• We made loud disappointed noises during the CTS ramp walk.
• We made exaggerated exclamations of praise during the HR ramp walk, saying ‘I wish we were as good as HR. They are the best! How sad…’
• It did not work, since Roshan and company, somewhere along the way, lost sight of the noble vision, and drowned our voices with misaligned cat-calls.
• But, we can look at the bright side: we have saved the costumes for the Sack Race happening at the Dell Olympics shortly.

12. Dominic’s classes on Labour Laws : I learnt that ‘who’ is an employee and ‘what’ is a company depends on which law were are referring to. As if this was not enough, there were Latin words. Since the only Latin word I know is ‘etcetera’, soon I found myself non compos mentis.

The list is endless, but like everything else, all good things must come to an end 🙂

It will be difficult to disassociate with what became a part of our family. So much so, that my 3 year old thinks that everything with a ‘D’, a crooked ‘E’ and two “L’s belongs to his mother. He feels free to help himself to anything with that inscription, whether at someone else’s house or at a mall

For me, the inscription will remain on my heart.

Closing here with best wishes to all of you! Have fun, work hard and reach new heights!
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Footnote: You really believed there is a ‘Ravish’? Get real! Ha Ha!

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