Happy New Year!

It’s been a while since I wrote and the response to this period of silence has been overwhelming! Folks from far and near have been asking me what happened in Goa and why there has been no blogpost post Goa.

The top question, so far, has been, ‘Did your predictions about Amit come true in Goa?’

This question has been posed by scores of people, most of whom don’t even know him, including a grandmother from Senegal, a rescued elephant from Hubli and the Dalai Lama.

Goa was good! We had a nice, relaxing time with friends. That is, when these friends’ camera batteries ran out. You see, no longer does the urban family holiday with those puny digital cameras: they are replaced by mean, monstrous looking SLR machines.

Sometimes, it leaves people at difficult crossroads as they struggle to choose between loading the car with the camera versus clothes versus one of the kids.

Usually, the kids lose in this battle – since a naked photographer is not a good sight in civilized society.

My friends were taking photos all the time. Of exotic objects. Sunsets and beggars are passé. We are talking about truly unique, soul-stirring stuff: like rubber tyres, rotting barks of trees, and cutlery.

Feeling left out, once I tried to pose, disguised as a dog with festering wounds, and I have some candid shots as a result of that.

Talking of ‘candid’, these photographers never, I repeat, never shoot anyone who poses. Posing is four-letter word. It had to be candid. Sometimes, we went to extreme extents to appear candid, trying to look aloof for long durations, till our friend got the aperture value right.

Phew, it was taxing!

Now, these friends have requested to be unnamed on my blog. I have to take that all-important decision of at what point of making fun of them will I lose them?

And if I do lose them, who is left around me? The horrific answer is, it’s will be just my driver: who communicates with me via text messages :

“Shel I live or you want mor weight?”

(loosely translated to : “Shall I leave or you want me to wait some more?”)

It’s a scary thought. So, let me stop with Goa and move on to something else.

So, what should my first blogpost of 2011 be about? Questions that have been on my mind are:

Is there an end to strife in the world?

Is there hope for the girl child?

Will Indian politics ever clean up?

Will my kids ever recover after watching me dance to ‘Munni Badnaam’ in Goa?’

And, finally, the most important one,

On which channel is POGO?

I don’t have answers to any of these questions. In fact, in 2011, I want to stop looking for answers. My resolution is to, instead, try to just be, and let the answers come at their pace.

Which brings me to ‘resolutions’, or those promises people make to themselves on New Year’s Day. Maybe I could share my perspectives on the top 5 resolutions that do the rounds this time of the year:

1. I will quit smoking – No, don’t do that. It’s a bad idea. Just continue puffing, and if you like my blog, please add me in your will.

2. I will call my mother more often – That is a good idea. Because if you don’t, she will end up calling you in the middle of a critical meeting to tell you that Tinku’s wife eloped with the watchman. And, if you don’t respond appropriately to that, she will ask you if your constipation is still bothering you.

3. I will wear a helmet – Good idea! That way, you won’t spill your brains on the road, revealing the embarrassing miniscule quantity of the same.

4. I will find more time for my wife – Ok, that is, if you can find her. Remember, Tinku is lonely now.

5. I will laugh more, live more – Just find the right time and place. For instance, if you do so when my friends are taking candid shots on the roads, you will make it to their photo gallery of Demented Destitutes.

So, friends, have a happy new year and remember, if you ever, ever need a person you need to talk to, at any odd time of the day……………………………………………………………..just wait for the tele-caller to call you to sell BMRDA-approved plots near Hessarghata.