I thought Congress was a secular party strongly opposed to ‘ghar vaapsi’ projects! Why this? Making an exception for Rahul baba? But, really, I have not seen so much excitement in the country since ex-uncle Amitabh made a spectacular comeback with his re-invented portfolio, new set of friends, and a new beard-soaked-in-a pot-of-milk look.

And before you jump to conclusions that no one wants him back, there might as well be a lot of people who do want him back after all.

Sheila Dixit, I guess. So that she could clarify that she never meant to say those things against him. That her words were twisted, replaced, translated and mispronounced. I hear she has even accused the media of plucking words out of BJP’s manifesto and planting them in her vocal chords.

Robert Jijaji Vadra. He was missing the only person who makes him appear smarter in comparison. Sources say that he was delighted on hearing that saale-saab is back by exclaiming ‘Are you serious?’ in five different intonations.

Beni Prasad Verma who is confident that if a visa can be arranged, Rahul baba can even give Hilary Clinton a run for her money. He had bought a copy of ‘U.S. Constitution for (V.I.P.) Dummies’ while he was waiting. Also booked baba for a course on ‘Hotdogs – The Food Version’ at IIN.

Rockie, because Rahul baba has assured that he will deploy powerful measures under Women’s’ Empowerment’ to make sure that bouncers at night-clubs have a better life.

Diggy Raja is, reportedly, smug like a Cheshire cat, waiting with a bait to hook and lead Rahul baba to the Opposition Leader’s chair in Lok Sabha. Time has come that baba get serious about getting some work done. And get married, for heaven’s sake! Maybe, plan out a double-wedding. A double-honeymoon, maybe. With Baba Ramdev’s blessings and products, as applicable.

Arnab Goswami is definitely, waiting. Rahul baba brings out his feminine (or maybe, human) side. His presence makes him sweet, patient, soft.  So much so, that a lot of people mistake him for honey-on-our-ears Meira-kripya-baith-jaiye Kumar.

Now, those who are pulling a long face and making snide remarks, I want to tell you that I have put fingers in my ears. And I all I want to tell you is this:


I’m not a baby

If you trouble me

I will tell mummy.’